The Gifts I am Given- Christine Ray

The mirror  that I look

at myself in is

old

dark

fractured

wavy

distorted

It is as if these glass fragments

have writing scrawled upon them

in crimson lipstick

Words like:

Damaged

Unclean

Fat

Old

Ugly

Bitch

Unworthy

Invisible

Unlovable

Objects in this mirror

may be closer than they appear

sometimes they hurt

sometimes they bleed

 

People have been handing me new words

that they say they see when they look at me

This language is not congruent

with what my looking glass

likes to venomously spew at me

These are different kinds of words entirely

Strong

Kind

Honest

Brave

Badass

Radiant

Beautiful

Authentic

Powerful

Impactful

Wise

Intelligent

I am not sure what to do

with these foreign objects

I put them in a heart shaped box

for safe keeping

I like to take them out and wonder at them

tracing their curves with my finger

 

I am thinking about buying

new, clear mirrors

that surround me 360 degrees

and inscribing the glass

with these gifts of words

I have been given

that tell a different narrative of me

 

Or perhaps I will

carve them onto flat disks

of gold, silver and bronze

and string them into a necklace

that I wear close to my heart

It will have weight, heft

be an ever present reminder

that mirrors are not always

the holders of my truths

 

© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All rights Reserved

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Christine Ray writes for Brave and Reckless and is a member of Sudden Denouement.  She is also curator at Blood Into Ink and barista at Go Dog Go Cafe.  She is an aspiring badass.