Away Then-1Wise-Woman

Then

Then, the day to day

All I could do was go

Away

Fear clouded memory

Duck and cover

Mind fucked like

A ravenous lover

Leaving me helpless

Weak

On the floor

A sobbing heap

My truth

Should be a lie

Just let me be free

The shape of fear

The shape of me

Hollowed eyes

Skeletal remains

Unknown depth of violence

The cage that kept me

Isn’t enough to protect me

The ones who are stronger

Yell louder

Throw harder

Stay away better

They mattered

I could be that

Away

I was tough

Away

I couldn’t be that at home

Among the ghosts

Of a catacomb

Never touched by sun

Taking out my rage on anyone

Except those who deserved it

That’s how it works, right?

Find the weak, the helpless, the slight

And let them have it

Reign down on the innocent

It’s easy

Empowering

It’s not you, it’s me

It’s my family

But you, brother

Where are you?

I thought we were in this together

I remind you of them

Of then

So you leave me

Alone

Standing in the middle

Of a battle field

We never asked for

Bodies cover the ground

And I recognize their faces

Fading and tragic

Lost in black magic

It’s almost over

The end of that circle

Only shadows for cover

Turned to dust

The cage of mine

Emancipated by rust

The makers will die

With tears in their eyes

Of guilt and regret

I won’t forget

Or walk the scar

Of that grievous history

I wished to be away

I can feel it now

As I drift out of the arc

Away from the dark

To the light

Of my own making

Changing the trajectory

Re-writing the story

Re-loving the testimony

(Image from Pinterest)

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1Wise-Woman: “I am living, fighting, and thriving with mental illness and chronic disease and a need to express myself. Writing eases some of the weight I carry.” When she isn’t yanking shadowy strands of leathery clumps of unconscious, and tenderly placing them into word documents, she is creating at A Lion Sleeps in the Heart of the Brave.