There is a secret at the back of my throat
a black tulip
that won’t swallow
the ash of memories
I was you see, a girl of damage and plums
you could see the embers beneath my eyes
like eighties makeup and Adam Ant
I was no prince charming
but the girl who played the piano with her eyes shut
because she could not read music
nor find her way to release
I see photos of girls who could have been me
with fresh skin and dimples
they can join groups and do things in harmony
smile for the camera, bow for the priest
whilst I shunned the age of innocence
or it devoured me
spitting out my infernal seeds
to scatter beyond my picking
how to climb mountains with minions
take a picture?
or smile in the collective conscience
when the stamp is already affixed
blood drawn
waiting for its testing
I can already tell you
it will be infected
with the grief that stayed and did not go
so when you ask me
why don’t you have photos of when you were younger?
why don’t you feature in group shots?
how come you don’t possess family and friends in abundance?
or even handfuls
I point wordlessly
to a girl in the past
licking darkness from her fingers
I say without a tongue
this is who she becomes
this girl is all I am
if it is not enough for you I understand
if you need someone who will radiate and take you
mountaineering and socializing
do not choose her
she has only the will of this moment
she is not a joiner not one of the crowd
but if you let her
precisely because of this
she will be everything
Reblogged this on TheFeatheredSleep and commented:
My latest on Whisper & the Roar
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Yes, she will. Lovely, Candice. 🙂
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Thank you so much for your support. I had been stymied in terms of writing lately due to feeling down and what Anthony said about our Anthology and the encouragement of you really means so much to me thank you for you ps can you send me your addy so I can put you on my xmas card list xo pretty please
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❤ I do hope you lift yourself above that. Stay strong! And yes, I will PM you!
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xo
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Love love this…Candice. You have the talent of writing effortlessly and your poems portray your emotions so transparent as I’m reading our daily. So honest and so crude.
I’m in love with this lone” she has only the will of this moment”.Brilliant!!
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Thank you so much my friend! I really appreciate those words of encouragement I had been having a very hard time getting my words out after what Anthony said about the Anthology and your encouragement means everything!
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Candice, you are such a strong women and epitome of courage for all of us..why to get bogged down by people who fail to understand the sensitivity and amount of the heart and soul which goes into speaking about the abuse.It is his sheer ignorance and complete lack of empathy and I don’t even want to waste my single breath and will never allow hin to fuck my piece of mind. For me, people like him ,they dont exist cause the wolrd is full of them ,my friend.
Love and hugs!!
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Wow I really do get bogged down so I am surprised you think me strong but thank you for saying that it means a lot. It is very true about complete lack of empathy and ignorance for sure, how right you are. I’m so glad we are sisters in this together my friend.
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We indeed are and you are stronger than you think.Believe me we always second guess our ability and I always believe in this saying ” I have scars cause I survived.” Coincidentally I have just posted something on the whisper and Roar on the same lines.Such a beautiful coincidence my friend. Universe speaks to us in mysterious ways.
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I truly believe this and that one door closes and another opens. I’ve had a lot of closed doors lately so I’m hopeful! Your support means the world to me and you are an inspiration to me because you NEVER QUIT
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I’m humbled by your words and you do the same to me.All these closed doors are paving a path for a new opening. Believe me.
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💓
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“not a joiner not one of the crowd” – There was a boy like that, not to be found in many group photos, and who found a poem:
LONE MAN
Jakushitsu Genko Zenji – 1290-1368
from: Like a Dream, Like a Fantasy
by: Noyogen Senzaki
He walks freely in the world,
And goes just one way.
From the eternal past to the eternal future,
He is alone,
No one accompanies him.
If you ask him how old he is,
He will look at you with a smile,
And point to the endless sky.
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
At The Whisper And The Roar, Candice Louisa Daquin brings a poem of a girl.
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“There is a secret at the back of my throat
a black tulip”
“a girl of damage and plums”
“licking darkness from her fingers
I say without a tongue
this is who she becomes”
“but if you let her
precisely because of this
she will be everything”
You are so amazing, Candy.
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This excellent poem belies your comments indicating your struggle – your work, I know, is not effortless
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The loveliest thing and I so needed to hear this today thank you so much
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